Choosing An Accessible Wedding Venue
Photography by AdorleeBecky: We're bringing you a double whammy of Recommended suppliers this morning to talk to you about choosing an accessible wedding venue.
You've heard from Celebrant Kathryn before when she has contributed articles around having a humanist ceremony and neurodiverse and wedding planning. She's joined forces today with the Recommended wedding venue Southend Barns to bring the topic of accessible wedding venues to the forefront.
Alongside Kathryn's incredible words of advice, Southend shares with you how they have made accessibility a part of everything they do.
It's over to Kathryn...
If you’re planning a wedding and need to consider your physical mobility or energy levels there might be some elements of what lots of people consider as ‘traditional’ at weddings that you’re worried about. Or that you are wondering a) if you ‘have’ to do them, or b) Is there a way they can be made to suit you. With a Celebrant-Led Wedding, there is NO ‘have to’. You can have a completely personalised wedding that is flexible around you.
Choosing an inclusive and accessible wedding venue
Kathryn Palmer-Skillings
Advocating for yourself and your guests
Before we get into the specifics of things to think about or ask when choosing suppliers and an accessible wedding venue, I do just want to address something that I hear too often from us disabled folk.
You deserve dignity and an equitable experience to any non-disabled person or couple. You aren’t a burden and you shouldn’t feel you need to be any more grateful for the service offered to you than the service offered to anyone else.
Don’t compromise on your RIGHT to feel celebrated. You do not have to settle for less than what makes you feel absolutely celebrated, not just included and certainly not shoe-horned into a situation where you are made to feel anything less than fabulous. Think this stuff isn’t said to disabled people planning a wedding?
If you need to have step-free access to your venue make sure you have step-free access to every area you need and in a way that is empowering and dignified! Would they expect any other couple to have their big entrance to the venue past the bins? No? Thought not! Not OK.
There are so many genuinely inclusive suppliers across the wedding industry who will work with you as an equal and will be committed to making sure you have the wedding day you want that not only works for you but is so purely about celebrating you both and your love you will not only feel good - you’ll feel fabulous! Hopefully, you feel confident asking for what you need.
Entrances
Is the accessible wedding venue entrance or route the same as everyone else’s or is it at least a similar ambience, a similar quality or a similar vibe to the rest of the venue? This goes back to that point above about not settling for that feeling that you’re making do. As a celebrant, I’ve been known to use a dark and small service lift if I think it’ll be easier than a particularly spirally staircase, not ideal but I’m there working. I wouldn’t be expecting the couple or even guests to have to do that! This kind of nuance is most likely best served by visiting if you can.
accommodation
Staying onsite? Is there a suitably Luxe/Sexy/Classic Couples suite that also has everything you need to access it? If, like me, you’ve spent the odd night in an ‘accessible hotel room’ you’ll know that about a third of the time they aren’t actually accessible and pretty much all of the time they aren’t quite as lovely, chic or stylish as the rest of the hotel. If you or your guests will be needing to use accessible accommodation - it’s definitely worth checking you’re happy with it, so many venues do take lots of extra care and attention to make it just as lovely.
Visibility
While visiting is often best - it’s not always practical - especially if you need to consider energy levels or less than accessible travel and transport which can be exhausting in itself. If you want to know as much as you can before going somewhere in person, think about the flow of your day. For example; arriving, entering your ceremony space, heading for photos and drinks, back in for your meal, heading to the disco. Are all the spaces going to work for you? How do you get between them and importantly, are there toilets that you can easily access along the way?
Ask if the venue would be able to create you a simple online tour of photos or a video on a phone, focussing on the aspects important to you - handrails, gradient, toilet hoists, uneven ground, stairs and ramps etc.
Accessible toilets
A word on accessible toilets. Similarly to accommodation it’s sometimes the case that the accessible toilets aren’t quite as lovely an experience as the rest. Though the changes and maintenance needed to bring them up to spec with other facilities can often be pretty simple.
Our reception venue agreed contractually to make changes to the accessible loo so it was as pleasant as the others. It only needed a better lock, decent mirror and toilet roll holder. They agreed that all guests, disabled or not, should have an equal experience.
Not all of these tips will work for everyone, not everyone with a physical impairment faces the same barriers - of course! - we are all individuals. Hopefully, these ideas will make you confident in making decisions about your wedding venue to make it feel good, fabulous and accessible to you and/or your guests.
Becky: It's my pleasure to introduce you to Southend Barns. An accessible wedding venue set on a farm in the stunning West Sussex countryside near Chichester.
It is important to the team that no one misses out on any element of a wedding day or feels left out.
Southend Barns
Access at Southend Barns Southend Barns in Chichester, West Sussex was carefully designed by owners William and Mariella Fleming to be accessible to all guests, the couple and atendees. With natural built-in slopes that are subtly incorporated into the layout and landscape, there is full access to the whole venue with no limitations for wheelchair users. Close to the entrance is dedicated disabled parking with a natural sloping pathway leading to the main gates. All the venue spaces have also been designed to be accessible and flexible to meet the needs of couples and their guests. It is important to the team that no one misses out on any element of a wedding day or feels left out. Working closely with each couple, there is a detailed planning meeting where specific guest, supplier or couple requirements are discussed to ensure when the day arrives every single guest enjoys a wonderful experience. Accessible Accommodation The main suite has also been built to be accessible with a subtle ramp at the entrance door and large open plan rooms including a shower room, all of which has been designed with lavish interiors and stylish details to create a welcoming and luxurious sanctuary for the newlyweds. Attention to detail and careful consideration are given to each element of the day, for example if there is a guest attending the ceremony in a wheelchair then space can be allocated with chairs either side to ensure that guest still feels very much a part of the wedding congregation. With no purpose built ramps or steps, the ceremony areas inside and in the Secret Garden have wider than usual aisles to allow for wheelchair access. For wedding receptions, tables are carefully set out in the Threshing Barn to make sure there is plenty of space to move around and chairs can easily be removed to accommodate wheelchairs. Inclusive food options A great deal of thought has also gone into the menus which are created by the in-house team Roots Catering. Moving away from buffet styles, which involve guests getting up and queuing, they have introduced more sharing based options, with food brought to the table but without losing the informal and relaxed quality of a buffet. Careful consideration also goes into the dietary requirements of guests to ensure allergies, intolerances and preferences are all catered for. As well as the beautiful design of the accessible venue and careful pre-planning, the team are also always on hand to help anyone on the day and make guests feel completely at ease to ensure they can enjoy themselves.
Becky: As well as finding an accessible wedding venue, you may also be thinking of how accessible other parts of your day are. We'll be back with another article from Kathryn soon to tackle your wedding ceremony. In the meantime, if you're planning a wedding and thinking about mobility, you can read more over on Kathryn's blog. And please do check out Southend Barns if you're considering a barn wedding for your big day. Thank you both suppliers for contributing to this article.