Humanist Wedding Ceremony - What Is It & Why Have One?

You’ve probably come across a fair share of Humanist wedding ceremonies here on Rock My Wedding. But have you ever considered saying "I do" in a Humanist ceremony yourself? There are so many ways to tie the knot, whether you're looking for something religious, non-religious, or a bit of both but, today, we're discussing what actually is a Humanist wedding ceremony. We spoke to some of our incredible Humanist and Independent wedding celebrants for all their advice on managing family expectations, how to make your ceremony personal and some of their favourite readings. And honestly, that’s just the tip of the wedding iceberg!

A massive thank you to these celebrants for their help with this article: 

Bex The Celebrant, Ceremonies By Skye, Indeed I Do, LoveCelebrants, Humanist Celebrant Manchester | Hannah Wroe Gill, Roxy Celebrates Love, Lovestruck Celebrant, Meg Senior Ceremonies and Ceremonies by Gitte.

Everything you need to know about Humanist wedding ceremonies

What is a Humanist Wedding Ceremony?

Bex The Celebrant says, “A celebrant-led wedding is personal, bespoke, and fun—designed to leave you and your guests amazed. It’s a ceremony all about you, with your love story at its heart. Guests often expect ceremonies to be the “boring bit” before the party starts, but with a celebrant, this becomes the part everyone talks about! Couples often say it’s their favourite part of the day, and guests leave feeling truly entertained and moved. In contrast, a religious or civil ceremony often follows a standard script, where your name is simply slotted in. With a civil registrar, for example, you usually meet them for the first time on the day.” So, you may find that a celebrant-led wedding offers a more meaningful and personal experience.

Ceremonies by Skye also points out that, “you can have full control over the content and style including structure, stories, vows, rings, readings and music. Whereas a religious or civil ceremony will follow a set script and have restrictions on what can and cannot be said and included.” 

With a humanist wedding the couple get to choose the person who will marry them (ie their celebrant), which is unlike civil ceremonies where a registrar is assigned by the local council office.

Meg Senior Ceremonies

What are the core values of a Humanist wedding ceremony? 

According to Meg Senior Ceremonies, "Humanism is an ethical approach to life based on reason and evidence, it's about making the most of the one life we know we have and being kind to people and the planet. Reading that definition can mean many people realise they are humanists without having known it before!" 

Indeed I Do says, “Humanism is, at its core, about believing in the goodness and morality of people without the need for religion. It believes that people have the capacity to do amazing things on their own. It is a belief in people, community and love.” Roxy Celebrates Love also has a similar outlook on this and says that it’s “a non-religious philosophy that champions the couple, rather than god, or anything else for that matter. It’s about putting the people getting married at the forefront of the day.” 

Hannah Wroe Gill says that Humanist wedding ceremonies are all about “taking time to reflect on your relationship and what marriage means to you. It’s about your loved ones coming together, from all walks of life, to celebrate your story, everything that makes you, you. It’s about making your wedding ceremony the very best it can be.” With more and more couples wanting to make their wedding as personal and unique as possible, it’s understandable that Humanist ceremonies and celebrants are rising in popularity. What once was considered the ‘boring’ part of the wedding is actually now one of the most emotional, funny, heartfelt and meaningful parts of your wedding day! 

Are there any restrictions on what can or cannot be included in a Humanist wedding?

Hannah Wroe Gill points out that, “A Humanist wedding ceremony should be non-religious, without reference to any higher power, religion, paganism, spirituality or superstition etc. This includes any contribution such as readings, props, song lyrics and so on, but common sense also needs to be applied when judging what is an overt religious reference and what isn’t.” LoveCelebrants also notes that “in Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, Scotland, Jersey, and Guernsey; Humanist weddings are legal and can take place anywhere! This can also happen in England if you go to the registry office in the days before your ceremony and get the legal bit done first!” 

That being said if certain aspects of religion are mentioned in your ceremony, perhaps an independent celebrant might be more suitable for you. Bex The Celebrant says, “As an independent celebrant, I offer complete flexibility. If you’d like to include a religious reading, prayer, or any other meaningful element, you absolutely can. My only ‘restrictions’ are that everything is safe and legal. Other than that, the sky’s the limit!” 

Can you incorporate any symbolic rituals in Humanist ceremonies?

Humanist ceremonies leave the door open for you to choose any rituals or traditions you’d like to use within your ceremony that aren’t necessarily religious. Ceremonies by Skye says, “Symbolic rituals are the heart of a celebrant-led ceremony and there are so many to choose from. My personal favourites are tree-planting ceremonies, which work really well at outdoor weddings. Ring warming, to incorporate all guests. Unity wine is a bit of fun and I really like it when couples come to the table with their own ideas for a ritual, meaningful to them and their story. But my absolute favourite is a candle unity ceremony. The meaning behind it and the visual aspect is all so beautiful. 

"One of the most magical memories from one of my ceremonies was when a couple had a candle unity ritual. The ceremony took place outside, underneath an oak tree. Getting the candles lit was a real moment of togetherness and emphasised the couple’s commitment to one another and the blending of the two families. The next day the couple sent me a picture of the candles in the morning and they were still burning!” 

Indeed I Do highlights how Humanist ceremonies “allow the couple to make their own new traditions. They also allow for a very ‘visual’ element to the ceremony, which is memorable as well as being inclusive, especially if there are multiple languages spoken, for example.” 

What makes Humanist wedding ceremonies so special? 

We asked our celebrants what made them decide to become a Humanist wedding celebrant in the first place to understand how these ceremonies are so special. Ceremonies by Skye says, “ Couples want options and choice when it comes to their special day, they are looking for more personal and modern services. No two couples have the same love story, so why should they have to settle for a carbon-copy ceremony, when they could have one unique to them? I wanted to become a wedding celebrant because I want to be able to give couples the choice and options they want and deserve.” 

Indeed I Do said, “Humanism really chimed with me – especially their inclusive outlook on the world. Humanist celebrants were delivering LGBTQIA+ ceremonies long before they were legally recognised, which I loved. Humanist training is also viewed as the ‘crème de la crème’ of celebrant training (I mean, who doesn’t want to be trained by the best of the best?). It's also heavily regulated and I really like being part of a big network of support.” 

Roxy Celebrates Love decided to become a Humanist wedding celebrant after seeing one in action! “At a friend's wedding, I turned to my husband and said: “Why didn’t we have that?!”, I didn’t even know it was a possibility back then, but seeing how stand-out, joyful and memorable it made the day, I was inspired to train.” 

Lovestruck Celebrant actually chose to be an “ independent celebrant, so that I could offer couples a full spectrum of options, ones which don't include religious elements and ones that do. People come from all sorts of backgrounds, cultures and traditions and it feels really important that couples are able to have a ceremony that reflects them in their fullness.” 

Ceremonies by Gitte says, “ I wanted to help give people choice and agency over the most important decision in their life: how to commit to the person they want to share the rest of their life with - without having to compromise by doing it in front of a God they don’t believe in, or without the proper recognition and joy they deserve.”

It’s wonderful to hear how passionate our celebrants are about giving you a dedicated wedding ceremony you’ll remember forever, especially with Humanist wedding ceremonies that allow for more personalisation. 

How do celebrants work with couples to create a personalised Humanist ceremony?

On that note, how do you make Humanist wedding ceremonies more personalised? Well, Bex The Celebrant says, “It’s all about getting to know my couples and their love story. We meet in person (or via video call), so by the time the big day arrives, it feels like having your bestie up there with you!

"I use a detailed questionnaire to learn about your journey together, your quirks, and what makes you laugh. I weave these details into the ceremony, incorporating fun memories, favourite quotes, and even in-jokes, so it feels completely “you.” For vows, I guide couples with prompts and questions. Before they know it, they’ve written heartfelt vows they didn’t even realise were in them!” 

Indeed I Do makes a WhatsApp group chat to keep the dialogue open always, while Lovestruck Celebrant will write you personalised poems to focus on those things that give a deeper insight as to who they are as people and what makes you each other's person. Hannah Wroe Gill says that the process of creating your ceremony is, “an incomparable creative experience, one of the most personal, life-affirming and resonant you can have.” 

How to handle diverse family dynamics, especially if some guests have religious or traditional expectations… 

One of the most common reasons why couples stick with religious ceremonies is because it’s traditional or it respects the wishes of elder family members. But, as Bex The Celebrant says, “Your wedding day is your day. It should reflect you as a couple, not someone else’s expectations. That said, if you’re balancing diverse dynamics, there are ways to acknowledge traditions or beliefs without letting them dominate your ceremony. The key is communication—explain your choices to family members and remind them of the most important thing: celebrating the love that’s brought everyone together.” 

Ceremonies by Gitte says, “Humanist celebrants will give space to any family members wanting to share a reading or similar themselves with religious wordings or nods, we understand how some people value the familiarity of the traditional wedding setup. If the couple are happy with it, we can create the structure of the ceremony to imitate a traditional one, while still keeping the content and meanings completely authentic and personal to the couple.” 

Hannah Wroe Gill says “Humanist weddings are actually very inclusive because they focus on the one thing every guest can get behind – celebrating the couple themselves.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, Hannah! 

What are some creative ways to involve family and friends in the ceremony? 

We asked all our fabulous Humanist celebrants the ways you can include loved ones in your ceremony and this is what they said: 

• Family and friends can bring up ribbons to help you “tie the knot”
• Hide the wedding rings under a random guest’s chair, turning them into the surprise ring bearer
• Have guests take a celebratory shot mid-ceremony
• Inviting loved ones to perform a wedding reading or a song 
• Create a collaborative playlist, inviting loved ones to add their favourite songs or music that reminds them of the couple. The playlist can be on before, during, or after the ceremony
• A sand ceremony is a lovely way to involve children. Ask the kids to pick their own sand, be it their favourite colour, or from a local beach 
• Group vows are always a hit – the couple can look out over all their loved ones and hear their jubilant voices as they cheer ‘WE DO’ in unison to carefully chosen promises
• Have their family and friends collaborate with their celebrant to write and read out something on the day as a beautiful surprise for them.
• Make a vote or quiz about the couple perhaps with a prize

What kind of readings and/or music work well for Humanist ceremonies? 

As we’ve established, Humanist ceremonies give you lots of options when it comes to choosing a reading. Ceremonies by Skye shared a wonderful story in which, “at one of my weddings, the brides asked their best friends to read the lyrics to Tina Turner’s ‘Simply the Best.’ But it got better, unbeknownst to friends and family, the brides had organised for three professional singers to be planted amongst guests. When their friends stopped reading the singers popped up, belting out the lyrics and a full Tina Turner sing-a-long broke out, it was the most joyous thing to watch and be a part of. Anything goes in a Humanist ceremony.” 

LoveCelebrants says that during the process of getting to know a couple, they will “suggest quotes from films the couple enjoy, extracts from their favourite books or even mentions of their favourite memes have been a recent hit. I LIKE MY SOOTCASE (If you know, you know…)”. Now that sounds like our kind of ceremony! 

Ceremonies by Gitte says, “If you are keen on something that has a flair of humanism, or just those basic good person vibes, then check out words from Neil Gaiman, Philip Pullman or Maya Angelou. If you want something more light and humorous than worthy, try song lyrics or poems by John Cooper Clarke, e.g. ‘I Wanna Be Yours’.”

Another popular answer from our celebrants was one wedding reading in particular that we can also say has been a MASSIVE hit with our real couples. That reading is, Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton. It’s becoming a classic for a reason! 

Is a Humanist wedding ceremony legally recognised?

At the moment, Humanist wedding ceremonies are sadly not legally recognised in England or Wales. They have been recognised in Scotland since 2005 and are now legally recognised in Jersey and Northern Ireland. But don’t despair! You can still have a feel-good, fabulous personalised Humanist wedding ceremony. It does mean that you will need to pop into a registry office at some point to say the legal words. A celebrant can advise on how you can obtain a statutory legal registration from your local register office for usually around £50. You say all the legally required words, but you don’t have to include any of the ‘wedding-y’ bits unless you want to. Then on your chosen wedding day, you're free to have Humanist wedding ceremony where we can go to town to make it exactly the celebration you want. 

So, that’s everything you need to know about Humanist wedding ceremonies directly told by the wonderful celebrants who conduct these every week! A huge thank you again to our incredible celebrants for all their contributions to this article and their contagious positivity.

If you are thinking about having a Humanist ceremony, take a look at some of our favourite wedding readings from books to get you thinking about what kind of readings you might like to have on your special day.