How To Be A Good Bridesmaid?

So, you're wondering how to be a good bridesmaid. You’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid to someone close to you, and we're here to give you our top tips on being there for the bride as well as a list of duties you should take responsibility for. Even if you have experience working in weddings or helping out with the organisation process, nothing really compares to the responsibilities of a bridesmaid. No matter how many times you may be a bridesmaid, every experience can be different depending on your relationship with the bride. Whether she's a best friend, a work colleague, or a family member, going through these significant moments together will highlight the best (and sometimes the worst) parts of your relationship. This might also be a handy guide you can leave out for any of the girls who don’t seem to be pulling their weight, because let’s face it, there’s usually one...

Bridesmaid Duties 101 - The Ultimate Guide To Being The Best Bridesmaid

Bridesmaid Duties Before The Wedding 
 

Establish finances 

First things first, establish who’s paying for what. Every couple and their wedding budget is different, so take traditions out of your head and approach the conversation with an open mind. Ask what you’ll be paying for. Think of your bridesmaid outfits, hair and makeup, the hen party, and bouquets. Getting this sorted straight away will allow you to work out a budget for the other bridesmaids when planning the hen party. Setting expectations straight off the bat ensures everyone can plan accordingly in terms of getting the money together.  

Bridesmaid dress/outfit shopping

The exciting part is choosing your bridesmaid dress, shoes and accessories! The bride may be heavily involved in this and might have a specific style or colour in mind and will want to send you options and be there when you’re trying them on. Other brides will take a more laid-back approach if they’re going for mismatched bridesmaid dresses or are happy just as long as you feel good in your skin. If you’re the chief bridesmaid or maid of honour, you may also be asked to come along to the bride’s wedding dress shopping! 

Hen party 

The hen party is a task usually undertaken by the bridal party to ensure the bride has the best time ever surrounded by the most important friendships in her life. But don’t panic, you can take a look at our hen party planning checklist for help with this! Plus, we also have a hen party playlist and the best hen party gift bag fillers. It’s okay, we’ll let you take the credit. 

Pre-wedding events 

It’s likely you’ll be invited to attend other wedding events in the lead-up to the wedding day. This can range from the engagement party to the rehearsal dinner, and more. It’s your job as the bridesmaid to be there for the bride and their partner on those days. You need to show up and support those events in any way you can. Whether that’s tidying up, contributing food, or literally just standing by their side. It won’t be unnoticed. 

Wedding and bridal gifts 

On the morning of the wedding, it’s common for the bride to give gifts to the bridal party to say thank you for being there and part of the wedding party. But, it’s also a lovely touch for the bridesmaids to show the bride their appreciation for her friendship. Put together a photo album with meaningful notes or a keepsake she can keep for a long time that represents something for you and her. 
 

Wedding planning 

There, of course, will be odd jobs throughout the wedding planning process that you might be involved in. If you have a secret talent for designing or are particularly crafty, the bride and her partner might rope you into some DIY or designing the stationery. Musically inclined? Maybe they’ll ask you to help with the playlists. Type A personality? They may ask for your help organising the logistics of the day, organising the seating arrangements or planning the rehearsal dinner. Your job is to step up in any way you’re able to. It’s all good fun and will make incredible memories and strengthen your friendship. 

Bridesmaid Duties During The Wedding 

Emergency kit

On the day, the bridesmaids are essentially there to be the bride’s personal mirror. She most likely will be busy and won’t really have a minute to even glance at her appearance. Be on hand with an emergency wedding survival kit to help keep the bride smelling good, powdered, touched up, and feeling her best all day long. 

Know what your jobs are on the day

They say it takes a village and that is so true for wedding days. Everyone will have a responsibility on the day whether that’s setting up the venue, handing out confetti, performing a wedding reading or maid of honour speech, or getting the dance floor filled. Embrace and get stuck in with your job no matter whether you’re nervous or tired. When it’s your day, you’d want your bridal party to show up for you! 

Bridesmaid Duties After The Wedding
 

The day/s after

Weekend weddings are becoming more and more popular, so your duties may actually extend beyond the wedding day in terms of helping run the day after or before the wedding day, whether that involves a BBQ or a pool party! Just keep it in mind! 

Clean-up 

Helping clean up the venue if you all need to be out at a certain time may be something that falls on your shoulders. At the same time, you may also be in charge of picking up all gifts and taking them to the couple’s house or a safe place while the couple go on their honeymoon. 

1. Know the bride’s needs

Some brides need a lot of help while others would prefer to plan with their partner. It’s important to have a chat in the beginning about what their expectation is of your level of involvement and also be prepared for that to change as the big day gets closer. If the bride isn’t great at delegating, then step up and offer to take on specific tasks. Understand what she wants, not what you’d like if you were in her shoes. You could build Pinterest boards together or ask her to share hers with you so you can get an idea of the wedding day she’s aiming to create. Get involved in the inspiration stage and follow us on Instagram, tagging her into any of the posts you think would float her boat.

2. Be a team player

It is important to work as a team with the other bridesmaids. Whether you know them well or not, make an effort to get familiar and make sure you all have one mission in mind, which is to give the bride a hassle-free wedding planning experience and an incredible day.

3. It’s all about the dress

As a bridesmaid, you may be part of picking the wedding dress but also logistics can make this a tricky affair. Some brides prefer to do this without a huge entourage, so chat with the bride to find out her expectations. It might not be possible to get all the girls together to get your dresses, so try to be as accommodating as possible. Have a discussion with the bride about who is paying too – just because you’re a bridesmaid, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get a free frock.

4. Give your opinion tactfully

Being a good bridesmaid doesn’t mean you have to be mute, in fact, you've likely been asked to be a bridesmaid because the bride feels she can trust you. It’s helpful to share an opinion if you can do it tactfully and constructively. If you've seen ’Say Yes To The Dress’, then that's a good example that shows how opinions can be constructive or way too harsh.

5. The hen do 

The hen do is a big milestone. If the bride has a maid of honour, they'll be the one doing all the main planning for this with some contributions from the bride, you, and the other girls. But, if the bride chooses not to elect a maid of honour the planning falls into the hands of the bridesmaids. You'll know the bride the best and what she wants. Whether that's a fun night out, a cosy night in or something in between. 

6. The wedding gift 

When it comes to getting a wedding gift there are a few ways you can go about it. Often, bridesmaids will all chip in and get gift/s on behalf of everyone. That way you can get something a little more expensive that the bride has had on her wishlist for a while. Or you might decide to all get something special and meaningful individually. Either way, this can sometimes be a little difficult to manage. People will have different budgets and might try to turn it into a competition to see who can get the most expensive gift. The best thing to do when organising the wedding gift/s is to set a fair budget that everyone has to stick to or all put in the same amount towards a larger gift. 

7. On the day

How to be a good bridesmaid on the day? It goes without saying that when the wedding day rolls around you’ve got duties to do. However, it can often be the case that a bridesmaid feels like their duty is complete as soon as they've walked up the aisle. It may be beneficial for you to have a running schedule for the day and slot in everyone for their hair and make-up accordingly. You can also give a nudge to any ushers who seem to be enjoying their mojitos a little too much. Being warm and welcoming to all the guests and being the first one on the dance floor make you a stand-out bridesmaid. 

8. Moral support

There’s no doubt about it, wedding planning is stressful. As a bridesmaid, you need to be on hand to help the bride through any stresses and do what you can to alleviate them. Whether that's as simple as topping up her powder so she isn't shiny in pictures or making sure Uncle Bob doesn't get too drunk. Just be there for her and enjoy yourself too! Seeing a smile on your face will ease any of her worries.

The Bridesmaid Dress Is A Badge Of Honour! Wear It With Pride!

Hopefully, after reading this you feel prepared on how to be a good bridesmaid. Although we have plenty more advice and inspiration waiting for you. Like this Mr & Mrs Question Game, which is a fab hen night game idea! If you're looking for bridesmaid dress inspiration we have green, pink, blue, orange and gold roundups to get you started.